WORKING TITLE: THIS IS HOW I ENTREPRENEUR
Mandy Zelinka is the former Digital Marketing Manager for KEVIN.MURPHY International and owned one of the largest award-winning salons in Portland, Oregon. She was also Voted Best Hairstylist in Portland in 2016 by The Portland Fashion + Style Awards and is currently a writer and the CEO of The Zelinka Group.
But she's best known for tobogganing down the Great Wall of China as a United States Diplomat and First Lady of a City.
In the following 375 pages, I will describe events that should be utterly horrifying but instead, I’m going to try to get you to laugh at me instead.
When I was going through some major shit, which you’ll soon be absolutely enthralled with my telling of, I picked up A LOT of memoirs. Everybody else’s torturous tails - of guns slinging mothers (Mary Karr) of pissing your bed because you just couldn’t get out of it (Augusten Burroughs) and finally landing in Seattle reading a book that would wake me out of my pre-our-boat-sank funk (that’s you Caitlyn Moran) to one that would change my trajectory by reminding me of the strong woman I was and still am (Lindy West) - I would find comfort in, inspiration from, and strength from. Books have changed my life.
As a college dropout having graduated from Beauty School with no idea of how to build a clientele I read business and marketing books while working the graveyard shift at Plaid Pantry to pay the bills. Did I mention that that college dropout thing was after only one semester (.83 GPA) ON A FREE RIDE. I couldn’t even make it to play softball that season. Now I’m working the graveyard shift at a convenience store?
Ah Hell no. There was no way I’m not succeeded at this life shit because I refuse to let ‘that' be my story.
Except that we all are ‘that’ story. We all fuck up sometimes. (Some more than others.) We all hide behind our accomplishments when we don’t want anyone to see us. And a lot of us love to learn things the hard way. This is my collection of having learned things the hard way, so maybe you won’t have to. Or maybe you've been through what I've been through and maybe after reading it you don't feel so alone. The title really should be, "We all Fuck Up Sometimes." Hmm. That's not bad actually.
I am an Award-Winning Troublemaker.
Dive in, the water’s warm.
(Possibly because I laughed too hard and pee’d in it, but whatever.)